The Art of Non-Possession

I am grateful to an ex-girlfriend for teaching me how to love in a new way. For a chance at practicing the art of non-possession. I never thought I could be friends with a former partner because of my messy feelings that result from attachment, but I realized I was being given an opportunity to witness her radiance again. It befuddled me a bit, but it was an eye-opening experience like, ‘Ah, this is what happiness looks like on her!’ Our friendship brought me on a deeper understanding of what non-possession looked like in love.

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When Friendship Feels like Partnership

I once had a best friend who meant the world to me, yet we navigated our emotions differently. We met in 2010 when I became friends with her then-girlfriend as we served at a restaurant. She sat at the bar in her air of toughness, but was immediately chill once she started talking to me. She held a strong, silent confidence that I did not carry. I was happy-go-lucky, enthusiastic and felt my emotions deeply, whereas she lived with a sense of detachment and deflected her feelings by using humor at my expense. Although we created over eight years of memories together, I could not sustain a friendship where I lacked emotional safety and a strong sense of self.

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